Studying the Students…

Published Us Magazine, The News International. September 03, 2010.


“College life is the most memorable part of one’s life.”

“You shall long to live your school life again when it’s over.”

“I wish I could remain a student throughout my life.”

When I was naïve, annotations like these used to engross me like anything. I depicted college life to be a piece of delicious chocolate cake, with coffee topping. But as I grew up, I realized that not all are fond of this cake. People have dissimilar views regarding such life, some might enjoy, and others might dread it. The verdict rests upon the mindset of the pupil, and the company he chooses for himself. So coming to students, lets take in account the never-ending variety of the stuff found in our schools and colleges. And don’t forget, new varieties are constantly being added to the pre-existing ones.

The Scholars:

The first type of students in our un-biased students’ analysis list comes out to be the scholars. Well, 99.99 % of such species can be found on the front seats, while the remaining 0.01 % do not find place in the front row, so distressed and tensed, they have to shift. But they never go behind the second row. Substituting five prayers per day, they find it obligatory upon themselves to ask five questions per topic. (Though five is only a rough average). Their social circle comprises only a very few names, which are of top graders. Their very studious nature soon terrifies other kinds of students present in the classroom, so they always try themselves to stay at a safe distant. Other than classrooms, they can be found in the Staff room and the Science department. Though teachers are very fond of such students, yet sometimes they get exhausted when the scholars chase them even in the recess time. Their favourite topics of discussion are Studies, teachers and … Exams! The peak attention they get from their classmates is when the exams are approaching.

The Heroes:

Totally in contrast to the first type, the second type of students comes out to be the heroes. Though we are taught that opposite charges attract each other, the phenomenon does not hold true in case of the relationship between scholars and heroes. Throughout the year (with the exception of papers’ time) the heroes remain the favourites of the fellow mates. Their trendy style, latest fashion and hip style of walking makes them the most sought after in the college community. Their favourite period of the day is … hmmm…. Recess! They do not pay any heed to the teachers or the books. They can overfeed you with lots of info about any topic but studies. Studies reveal that in the off-school hours, the maximum number of heroes was found on the roads. Most probability of finding them is on the back seats, where they can easily make their aeroplanes and send them on test-flights.

The Cartoons:

The cartoons are, by the way, my favourites among the lot. Mostly, they have no factual friends, but they can kill their time with all the varieties enjoyably and all rejoice their company. (Scholars are an exception, as they don’t like their preppy attitude) When the college life is over, chances are very low that cartoons will drop in a call or SMS you, as they adjust to a community in no time. Rendering the teachers to be a laughing stock of the classroom environments, they imitate the teachers with supreme perfection and humor. Cartoons are mostly very intelligent species, but they never try to leave an impression among you. They can talk endlessly about any topic offered to them, and that too, endlessly. (Though their information might not match the one given by Encarta). Some of the cartoons should essentially be present in a classroom, so as to make the lecture less boring. The best way out to live harmonically with the cartoons is to ascertain a symbiotic relationship. Give them your notes, and you will be roaring by the overdose of laughter.

Depressed Souls:

“Oh God, the papers are approaching…”

“Do you have notes???”

“Yaar… What will I do in the papers?”

Coming to these poor things, the depressed souls, these are the most agonizing things in the college society. Apart from the tension they themselves take, they are sure to present you with heaps also if you squander some minutes with them. They want only one thing in life: Admission in the desired University. I guarantee you; the company of such souls is the last thing you want on this planet. They love being in the vicinity of the scholars. Though the scholars never or very rarely give them tips of studying or so, yet the souls never give up their habit of sticking to them. Coming to the topic of discussion, they talk whenever they want to, you can never force them. The topic is not very erratic; it’s mostly about the grades. Sometimes, very very rarely, you can find these souls talking about music and sports, but that is once in a blue moon. The dark circles beneath their eyes, their shrinking physiques and their electrified hair can tell you about the cruelty and harshness they render upon themselves. Even anti-depressants are of no use when it comes to their problems. Depressed souls constitute the extreme minority of the class.

Teachers’ Pets:

Have you ever conjectured how come that sometimes the teacher already knows that the class is planning to ask the principal to change him? And the teacher comes and delivers a very lengthy lecture about how immoral this act is and that you should have told him your problem formerly? Yes, you got me. These are the teachers’ pets that leak out all the secrets. These pets are like dogs; they follow the teacher universally and bark out all what they hear in the class. They maintain superficial cordial relations with all genres of students present in the class, and it is not easy to mark out the betrayer. They are like suicide bombers: You don’t know them, they damage you without a warning, and the loss is irreparable. Once the teacher figures out which student is against him in the class, he becomes Mrs. Dolores Umbridge. By doing so, these pets secure their position in the good books of the teachers and in some cases a few grace marks. But if the identity of the pet is exposed, hmm, you can predict what happens next.

Divine Creatures:

There is no specific place in the classroom where you can find these divine creatures. In fact they are all over, and are usually rendered as the most boring among the crowd. They don’t converse or speak much. (Don’t read much). They mind their own business, and never poke their noses in other people’s affairs. Behind the disguise, some of these creatures might be very intelligent and hardworking. They come to college sharp on time, and buzz off as the bell rings. They only unveil their true personality if sometimes gives them atypical attention. They don’t show any interest in what the rest of the class is planning or doing. Once you get to know the real person in them, you may find a very good friend residing therein.

Last note. I haven’t put in it a category of normal students, as they are the most difficult ones to find.


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